No, having two buttholes does not give you autism. Alleged medical practitioners share some of their most hilarious patient self-diagnosis stories in a recent AskReddit thread.
Thomas Northcut / Getty Images/Jackytar / Via reddit.com
I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, ‘You’ve had 20 heart attacks?’ ‘Yup. I never went to a doctor. My wife is a massage therapist, and whenever a heart attack hits, she starts to massage some pressure points and it stops. I don’t ever remember them. My wife tells me that I fall onto the floor and my arms and legs start jerking. She says it takes about a minute of her massaging before it stops.’ The dude was having seizures, and thought that they were heart attacks.
Sjenner13 / Getty Images / Auraseer / Via reddit.com
Patient is diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma of the breast, confirmed with biopsy. Surgery prepped for two weeks time. Patient goes to an outside facility, and does a mammogram. Radiologist read states it is benign. Patient writes an email to her primary doctor (my attending), ‘PRAYER WORKS. Please find attached report stating I no longer have breast cancer. Please tell Dr. X (Surgeon) that I will be no longer needing surgery.’